A funny thing happened on my way to Breckenridge, Colorado. Instead of a week of skiing with my daughter, I had emergency bypass surgery.
It did not seem fair. I’m only 48 years old. I do not smoke. I watch what I eat. I work out regularly. In fact, it was while I was on a Stair Master machine, getting my thighs in shape for the slopes that I noticed something might be wrong. After about twenty minutes on the machine, I had a strange pain in my left arm and my heart seemed as if it was going to pop out of my chest. I thought I should check it out before flying to Colorado. I’m glad I did.
Now I am convalescing at home, waiting to hear what God wants me to learn from this experience. I have not heard a message from on high as yet, but as I wait to return to work, a number of things have nourished my soul.
My worst fear became reality. Most patients stay on a respirator four to eight hours after bypass surgery. Because my vital signs were not right, doctors kept me on a respirator for twenty-eight hours. My arms were restrained so I would not remove the tubes in my mouth and chest. I did not panic. I accepted the situation. Prayer nourished my soul and psyche. After the third procedure, I was finally taken off the respirator. When it was removed, I was able to speak to Trudy for the first time in forty-eight hours. I told her what I had learned in the dream. "We’re going to be fine," I said. And we both cried.
I have also been nourished by the cards I receive daily. This has been a a good catastrophe in my life. I have discovered how much I am loved by the people in my congregation. Lines of communication have been reopened. People have called, written and e-mailed. My best friend from Nebraska is going to fly down to take in a couple spring training baseball games with me. When notes accompany cards telling you how much you are missed and valued, it puts a spring back in one’s step. It has been great changing roles for a time -- from care giver to care receiver.
Finally, I have been nourished by the wise counsel of a therapist -- Dick Erickson. A week after returning home from the hospital, I began experiencing anxiety attacks. Nights were especially bad. A feeling of dread crept over me shortly after the sun set. Dr. Erickson helped me connect the dots. He pointed out how the second and third surgical procedures were both performed at night. He suggested that my fears were linked to those procedures. After connecting the dots -- and after learning some relaxation techniques -- the anxiety attacks have subsided.
God may have other things for me to learn as a result of all this. Right now, it simply feels good to be alive.
2. Name three ways you are being nourished these days.
3. When it comes to the "human doing-human being" balance, where are you today -- in balance or out of balance?
Dick Meyer is Senior Pastor of First Presbyterian Church, Maitland
FL and author of the book One
Anothering. (One Anothering, vol. 2) published by Innisfree
Press will be available in May 1999.