I recently joined a national covenant group composed of seven Presbyterian clergy from throughout the United States. We gather once a year from five states. I have only been with the group once, this past May, but I look forward to many years together. One of our covenants is to stay together until God takes us home. Since we are all in our early fifties to late thirties, that may be awhile.
At our last gathering, Dan Rift, who works in the world-wide missions division of our denomination, began reflecting on an event from his life. He asked, “Was this a pure coincidence or was it providence?” Being theologically correct Presbyterians with an historical disposition toward the sovereignty of God, we all decided it was God at work.
After spending a couple of days with Dan, I realized that he does naturally what I do with much effort. He leads a reflective life. A Zen Master, Thich Nhat Hanh, said, “This spot where you sit is your own spot. It is on this very spot and in this very moment that you can become enlightened. You don’t have to sit beneath a special tree in a distant land.” Dan accesses that “holy spot” more often than I. In preparation for this article I’ve “reflected” on the reasons for that. I came up with two “biggies.
First, I fear “getting behind.” I say to myself, “If I take time to reflect, I’ll never accomplish what needs to be accomplished.” Such self-talk usually makes matters worse rather than better.
Ken Blanchard, co-author of The One Minute Manager, had a conversation with a very insightful woman. She said, “In America, we don’t value thinking. If people walked by the office here and saw the two of us talking, they wouldn’t interrupt. But if they walked by and I was sitting alone, they’d knock. They’d assume I’m not doing anything. We don’t legitimize thinking ... Most people have a sign on their desk that says, ‘Don’t Just Sit There, Do Something.’ What they need is a sign that says, ‘Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There.’ We need time to think things through, create a strategy and a plan, and stick with it.”
Since coming back from open heart surgery in February, I am teaching myself to do less and sit more! It’s amazing how a little heart surgery can re-order one’s priorities and outlook on life. In the process I am learning that disciplined reflection does not take time from work, rather it sustains the spirit and raises the intensity and the quality of my work. Reflection helps me to sift through the important and the minor.
In First Things First, co-author Roger Merrill tells about a lesson he learned from a friend. He and his professional peers worked with rats in mazes. They put the rat at one end of the maze and a piece of food at the other end, and watched the rat as he bumped around until he eventually found the food. The next time they put him in, he bumped a little less and got to the food a little faster. After a while, he got to where he would zip through the maze and have that tidbit in his teeth within a few seconds. Then they took the food away. For a little while, each time he was put in, the rat kept making a beeline for the end of the maze. But it wasn’t too long before he figured out the food wasn’t going to be there and so the rat stopped going.
“‘That’s the difference between rats and people,’ his friend would say, ‘The rats stop!’”
I’m learning to stop, and think, and reflect—just as Jesus did throughout his ministry—but it doesn’t come naturally to me. I constantly battle the fear of falling behind.
The other reason I have to work disciplined reflection into my life, has to do with the fear of facing myself. It happened the other day. I was with some guys and we were studying Bill Hybels’ book Becoming a Contagious Christian. Hybels had described “crisis mode” living where the pace of our lives continue to accelerate out of control. To get out of “crisis mode” we will have to take some radical action to slow things down. Suddenly, the Spirit began working deep inside of me. The Spirit brought me face to face with myself and I did not like it! I saw how I run to please people, not God. I saw how I feed off human praise. I saw how I eat it up. I saw how if I cared more what God thinks and less what other people think, the pace of my life would be much more sane. I saw how much easier it is for me to disappoint God than it is for me to disappoint other people—and I did not like it.
If I had not been in a small group-—and thus, taken time each week to slow down and reflect on my life—-I would have continued down “Unconscious Boulevard,” oblivious to what drives me into the “crisis mode.” I’ve worked small groups into my life in order to face myself — as scary as that may be at times.
Herman Melville said, “All profound things and emotions of things are preceded and attended by silence. Silence is the consecration of the universe. Silence is the only voice of our God.”
I agree, we need silence to reflect, but silence is not the only voice of God. God also speaks powerfully in and through community. So attend to one another and notice God's providence working in you and through you.
1. Reflect on your past week. Pick out three events/encounters. They may seem significant or trivial. What does each event/encounter say about you and/or God?
2. Be still for five minutes. Use the silence to ascertain your current mood or state of mind. What are you currently thinking or feeling? Share what you are comfortable sharing with the group.
Share ways you can be praying for each other this week.
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