Faith Finding --- Faith Sharing

by Kent Ira Groff

I was driving back from lunch with a colleague, explaining that I was in a down mood: "I'm sorry I just wasn't a very good conversationalist today." After a moment's pause, he said, "I like you better this way!"

My friend's comment cut through the fog of my seriousness in a humorous way and gave me a gift that keeps on healing me. I knew what he meant: When I'm overly enthusiastic, I can be so self-absorbed that I'm not a good listener.

This may seem like a strange incident to recall as an example of faith-finding and faith-sharing. But so much is written about finding God in the upsurges, in the light. Yet much of life is lived on the downswing and we need to learn how to notice God loving us in the "shadow."

The truth is that there are many times when I feel less than adequate to lead a retreat, write an article, teach my seminary class, or be a spiritual guide for someone who's driven miles to meet with me. How often I remember my friend's words, "I like you better this way." I think instantly, "I'll be a better listener with a person today, or I'll lecture less and invite the group to contribute more of their learnings today."

One morning when I was physically as well as emotionally drained, I entered a simple prayer in my journal: Use me this day, especially this way.

I now use this prayer often. One of the fruits of noticing my vulnerable self and offering it to God has been to pull back from some of my own insights and to ask more questions-so that others find insights of the Spirit from within.

One time a person was meeting with after summer vacation, complaining that he had neglected his spiritual disciplines-hadn't prayed, or kept his journal, or exercised much. I just listened, till he wound down. I found myself saying, "Pause and ponder what you've told me. What do you think God might be trying to tell you?" He sat in silence. When he spoke again, he said, "I think God is telling me: Try to remember what you already know!" Quick, I said, you've got an entry for your journal!-and I got out mine too.

Try to remember what you already know! That's it! That's the essence of what spiritual practices (or disciplines) are all about. In the booklet Spiritual Practices for Beginners and Leaders, I wrote, "What can I be doing, how can I be praying, to rekindle the flame of devotion that's already lighted? Let's be theologically correct: There is nothing you can do! Nothing except to really listen, be attentive, awake, aware." (p. 3)

Spiritual disciplines are practices in paying attention, listening to divine Love in order to love! So in Spiritual Practices I encourage churches to adapt five simple disciplines: to pray and pay attention to scripture in community, solitude, study, service and vocation-a lifelong process of discerning God's call. So faith-finding means that practices of prayer that open us to God finding us.

But faith found is only half the circle. In Psalm 77:11-12 the pray-er invites us to recollect times when we've experienced the Presence of God. But in Psalm 78:1-4 comes the invitation to telling these stories of faith, hope, and love: "I will open my mouth in a parable (story)... We will tell them to the next generation." One ready-made vehicle for faith finding and faith sharing is ordinary committee meetings.

In the booklet Spirituality Matters For Committee Meetings I advocate:

"Existing committee meetings are a ready-made structure to nurture spiritual friendship. In my retreat work I hear people complain, 'Our church doesn't have any small groups!' Yet dozens of 'meetings' are listed in their parish calendar!" (p.2)

"In a denominational committee on which I served, I was aware that one person's father had been diagnosed with cancer; the child of a minister was in a major medical center with a life-threatening crisis; one was leaving her employment; another had just placed an aging parent in a nursing home; my daughter was dealing with anorexia; yet another just had a book accepted for publication! The traditional 'before' and 'after' prayers were offered, but this allowed no space to name these personal concerns to each other and God." (p.3)

Faith-found needs faith-sharing to be complete. By practicing setting aside some brief period in the normal committee meetings of the church, new members hear the faith stories of long-term members. Using a one-on-one approach, only 10-15 minutes of faith-sharing can leaven the entire meeting so that agenda flows even more smoothly.

In the opening story when my friend said, "I like you better this way," he had no way of knowing it would nurture me for years to come, as I've realized my vulnerability is a place of strength. Administrative committees in our churches can be the church as well as do the church's work-celebrating gifts while lifting up each other's needs and vulnerabilities to God in community.

Group Questions:

• How do I pay attention to God?
• How do we do that at church? at work?

Groff's resources are available through Faith At Work.