My
mother is very wise. Although never college-educated and forever residing
in the same tiny rural town in which she was born, her wisdom is demonstrated
to me time and again.
Like most people, she has had a cross to bear. Through the years, her cross most often took the form of relationships with others who lacked either the strength or the wisdom to bear their own burdens and, therefore, would lay them to rest on her shoulders. For the most part, my mother graciously accepted the weight of these troubles and carried on, holding her head high.
Occasionally her human-ness got the best of her and she felt angry or resentful towards the other for their unending and suffocating dependency. But these feelings never endured. "And then," she would smile and say, "I had a little attitude adjustment and now everything is just fine." My mother, again and again, managed to find peace and joy in the midst of bearing her cross.
My mother's "attitude adjustments" sometimes took place while on a walk, or at church, or alone driving the car. Regardless of place and with or without the conscious decision to pray, I believe my mother's little "attitude adjustments" were a gift from God. In this solitude, a creative interchange occurred between her spirit and the spirit of the creator. And as a result, though the burden remained, all was made new again.
Perhaps it is only now, after suffering a few of life's disappointments and experiencing multitudes of little attitude adjustments in my life, that I am able to see the source of my mother's wisdom. It comes not from knowing big words, studying thick books, or co-mingling with important people. No, her wisdom comes from her ability to open her mind and heart to change exactly when it seems that those other people should be the ones changing.
This year for Christmas I gave my mother a little pottery jar with a big cork. Etched in the clay pot were the words "Attitude Adjustments." It was to be her private stock. We both laughed at the sight of it; knowing that it's always important to keep a few on hand. And since adjusting one's attitude can often be a bitter ordeal, I filled the jar with chocolate kisses to make the challenge a little more inviting.
Stacie
Hagan, co-founder and president of SynerChange, is an international consultant
to senior executives and top management. She lives in Atlanta GA with her
husband and two children. Stacie co-authored The Chicken Conspiracy:
Breaking the Cycle of Personal Stress and Organizational Mediocrity.