I grew up in an anxious home where people were supposed to "know" they were loved. It didn't work. Nor did physical affection flow.
So as a parent, I cuddled our son -- whenever he sat still. This worked until he became a teen and reached six-feet-six. Although my husband and I are tall, how do you kiss somebody you can't reach, who rejects "kid stuff"? Sensitive about appearance, he told me not to touch him at all in public.
How to retrieve closeness? Since I work at a home office computer, I invited him to "tell me about your day." Because he sits on the floor and is often sore from track practice, I began scratching his back through his shirt, massaging shoulder muscles, even tickling underarms. Did I see this on a television nature program, where nine-foot bears entertain themselves against tree bark, followed by grown wolves delightedly rolling in grass?
Our "talk-plus-action" fun has reunited my son and me.
-- Carole Spearin McCauley, Greenwich, Connecticut
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