A MODEL FOR A MEN'S GROUP-Resource IV
Journeymen: Guidelines for Spiritual Apprentices and Mentors

Purpose: Either find or found a men's spiritual support group-similar vocational, personal, or family struggles. A major focus is discernment: to support each other in making choices that best express love.

Rationale: Every man needs a safe space that is life-giving, health-producing and spiritually nurturing. Without it we bury our feelings or over-burden those closest to us.

Ground rules: To find or found a group may mean starting with just one other person. Whatever the format, it is essential to keep three ground rules:

1. confidentiality -- what is shared with the group stays with the group;
2. honesty -- "speak the truth in love," be real with each other;
3. commitment -- be present or accounted for, be culturally inclusive, and keep each other in prayer.

Procedures:

a. Rotate the convener role;
b. agree to a specific starting and ending time;
c. the convener is the time keeper. (This is crucial; people may come early or stay after.)

1. Five minutes of silence, preferably at the beginning, or later if you start with a group exercise (the convener may use a meditation or prayer exercise to lead into silence);
2. Ten to thirty minutes for mutual support using Faith Finding, Faith Sharing (Resource III, or an adaptation), Scripture Sharing (Resource II, group lectio), or any similar relational prayer exercise (in groups of 2-6 persons);
3. Ten minutes for intercessory prayer (for the entire group to hear brief concerns), for example, "For Craig, whose mother has cancer…" "For the unrest in (name of a country)…" "For (oneself) for guidance at work…" etc. A very meaningful method is to sing a verse of a spiritual song (hymn or chant), then offer the concerns, and sing the song again; or use a scripture litany such as "Let there be light" after each one's concern. 
   
   NOTE: This is the way to offset the problem of a large group: having small groups earlier allows for each person to have shared in more depth, but the above method allows the entire group to hear something of everyone's concerns.
4. Ten to thirty minutes for individuals who are in need of specific guidance, healing, or support to make it known. For example, someone in need of discernment for work or family issues might ask to for prayers to convene a Clearness Committee, asking a few in the group to participate. (See Exercise 18.) Or someone recently diagnosed with cancer might ask for prayer and the laying on of hands.
5. Choose the convener for next time.

Frequency of meetings: Weekly, semi-monthly, or monthly (minimum).

Optional Book Study (ten to twenty minutes): Since the purpose of these meetings is relational, it may be best for those who want a book study to offer it at a separate time, or less frequently, alternate weeks, etc.

Option: Everyone can be reading a book in common as background reading without formal discussion time.) "Listen to Love to love."

For more ways to enrich faith and community, see Kent Ira Groff's, Spirituality Matters For Committee Meetings, Spiritual Practices for Beginners And Leaders, and Active Spirituality. All three are available through Faith At Work Resources.

Dr. Kent Ira Groff is founder and director of Oasis Ministries for Spiritual Development, Camp Hill, Pa., providing spiritual direction, programs and retreats for lay persons and pastors. He is also adjunct professor at Lancaster Theological Seminary (Pa.). Kent draws on twenty years experience of being a pastor of Presbyterian congregations, and being a husband and father of three adult children. His ministry of writing includes Active Spirituality: A Guide for Seekers and Ministers, Spirituality Matters for Committee Meetings and Journeymen: A Spiritual Guide for Men-and for Women Who Want to Understand Them. He describes his work as "one beggar showing other beggars where to find bread."

Also: He is working on a new book, The Soul of Ministry: Weaving Spiritual Practices in Community, which will be published by Upper Room Books in 2000. You can learn more about Oasis Ministries by writing Oasis Ministries, 419 Deerfield Road, Camp Hill, PA 17011, phoning (717) 737-8222 or email.