Consider the difference between friendliness and hospitality. Suppose I meet you in the local grocery store and you say, "Hi, Stan. How is Ann Marie? How are the kids? How is the cat? How are things going for you? Well, I have to be on my way, it was great talking to you. See you!" Now that is friendly. Friendliness is being warm, sociable, and pleasant. We like to think of ourselves as friendly people and our congregations as friendly churches.
Hospitality, on the other hand, is quite different than friendliness. Whereas friendliness says, "Hi, how are you?" hospitality says, "Come into my life!" Hospitality says, "Let's grab a cup of coffee", "come over for supper", "join me in what I am doing." Hospitality means, "be welcome in my life." As a matter of fact, I could be friendly to you and yet have no intention of including you in my life. Hospitality goes much deeper than friendliness.
Is God friendly? Sure, if you think of God's constant love for you and interest in you as friendly. It would be more accurate to think of God as hospitable. Ours is the God who invites us into the fellowship of the Trinity through faith in Jesus Christ. When John wrote the following words he was simply proclaiming the hospitality of God, "We declare to you what we have seen and heard so that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ [John 1:3 NRSV]."
Welcome Home
Hospitality doesn't require lavish entertainment with a spotless home and special food. As a matter of fact, with our busy lives, we easily fail to practice hospitality because of the work required to get our homes ready. Lighten up! Set the ego trip of the perfect home aside. Practice hospitality with humility. Just say, "Come on over, you are welcome--my home as it is--my food as it is." Then share a simple meal or watch a football game together, or just have a cup of coffee.
If your home is not a suitable place to invite people, remember the essence of hospitality is inviting people into your life. It's not where you meet but that you are together that counts. So invite someone to be with you at a restaurant or a movie or a Christian concert or to hear some speaker or some fellowship group you are a part of. The idea is to include them with you in some aspect of your life.
Beyond Friendliness
I urge you to go beyond friendliness in your congregation by looking for ways to inspire your church's groups to practice hospitality. Lead them to go beyond the friendly and to find ways to actually invite and include people. Make guests know they are truly welcome, not just in your group meetings but in your personal lives as well. A friendly church is a great thing but a friendly and hospitable church is an absolute joy. Vital churches are friendly and hospitable.
Jesus said, "Listen! I am standing at the door, knocking; if you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to you and eat with you, and you with me. [Revelation 3:20 NRSV]". Imagine that! When you open the door of your life to Jesus Christ, the God of the Universe comes in! It is the greatest act of hospitality of your life. Receive Christ and then allow Him to be the host as you practice hospitality with the people God positions in your life.
Dr. E. Stanley Ott is Senior Pastor of the Pleasant Hills Community Presbyterian Church in Pittsburgh, PA and is President of the Vital Churches Institute which works to build the vitality of the local church.