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Forgiveness is a Choice

By Marilynn Anderson

Ten years ago my husband boarded a bus to New York to begin a three-month felon sentence for a crime he had not committed. He lived in a half-way "house" on 41st Street between 8th and 9th Avenues. He was interned each evening and weekends and did the reverse commute to his company in the early weekday mornings. He remained stoic and grateful that the maximum sentence of 150 years in prison had not been handed down. My fear for his safety and sanity gnawed in my stomach. My rage at the "justice system" and his former employer was scattered all over the place. Friends listened. I went back into therapy.

Not only was I angry with "the system"; an organized crime figure had just been acquitted and it was all too ironic: I was angry with a good man for not being able to protect himself against false accusations. It's fine to be "innocent as a dove", but shouldn't one also be as "wise as a serpent"? However, in hindsight there was nothing he could have done other than what he did do: tell the truth.

Watching helplessly while that 6'6" good man stand straight before the judge and heard: "I hereby sentence you to 3 months in a halfway house, for which you will pay one fourth of your monthly salary, 1,000 hours of community service, 3 years of probation and a fine of $10,000," left me speechless for a short while. He'd been betrayed by his co-workers, and the system. There was no justice. Even then I was identified with people living on the margins who are subject to injustice regularly. We are part of the privileged class with access to power, whatever power this is, it belongs to "the system itself". However, Vernon had inner God-given power.

Recently we found the file containing letters from thrity-five friends testifying to his good character. How good it was then and it is now to know what others think of him. These friends prayed for him and for me the whole time; it was the power of their truth and their prayers that got us through our suffering. In this sense, we are very much like the underprivileged whose faith, families and communities strengthen them. While living on 41st Street, Vernon sometimes shopped, even cooked Swedish pancakes for his fellow inmates. He listened to their stories, job counseled, and like them bore the indignity of frequent urine drug checks, the random changes in scheduling times to check in, the constant light and city noises with grace and fortitude. Returning home physically and emotionally drained, living faithfully, he remained whole with his integrity in tact.

His self image did not rest on being president of his company, because he knew his self worth rested with God. His conviction changed his life. He made the best of a situation neither of us could have imagined when we married: "for better or for worse". He lived through a wasteland experience without becoming bitter, mean or violent himself. lt's taken years of inner work and prayer for me to heal, whereas, Vernon felt God's steadfast presence sustaining him through his ordeal.

There is no social restitution; society cannot pay him back for its justice system errors. Yet he remains kind and giving. Redemption occurred when he chose not to be bitter but to become even more loving and more spiritually and financially philanthropic. Vernon's life is faith at work.

Psalm 71

  1. In you, O LORD, I take refuge; 
    let me never be put to shame.
  2. In your righteousness deliver me and rescue me; 
    incline your ear to me and save me.
  3. Be to me a rock of refuge, 
    a strong fortress, to save me, 
    for you are my rock and my fortress.
  4. Rescue me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked,
    from the grasp of the unjust and cruel.
  5. For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, 
    O Lord, from my youth.
  6. Upon you I have leaned from my birth; 
    it was you who took me from my mother’s womb.
    My praise is continually of you.
  7. I have been like a portent to many, 
    but you are my strong refuge.
  8. My mouth is filled with your praise,
    and with your glory all day long. 
  9. Do not cast me off in the time of old age;
    do not forsake me when my strength is spent.
  10. For my enemies speak concerning me,
    and those who watch for my life consult together.
  11. They say, "Pursue and seize that person
    whom God has forsaken,
    for there is no one to deliver."
  12. O God, do not be far from me;
    O my God, make haste to help me!
  13. Let my accusers be put to shame and consumed;
    let those who seek to hurt me 
    be covered with scorn and disgrace.
  14. But I will hope continually, 
    and will praise you yet more and
    more.
  15. My mouth will tell of your righteous acts,
    of your deeds of salvation all day long,
    though their number is past my knowledge.
  16. I will come praising the mighty deeds of the Lord God,
    I will praise your righteousness, yours alone.
  17. O God, from my youth you have taught me,
    and I still proclaim your
    wondrous deeds.
  18. So even to old age and gray hairs, 
    O God, do not forsake me, 
    until I proclaim your might to all the generations to come." Your power 
  19. and your righteousness, O God, reach the high heavens.
    You who have done great things, 
    O God, who is like you?
  20. You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again;
    from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.
  21. You will increase my honor, and comfort me once again.
  22. I will also praise you with the harp
    for your faithfulness, O my God; 
    I will sing praises to you with the
    lyre,
    O Holy One of Israel.
  23. My lips will shout for joy when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have rescued.
  24. All day long my tongue will talk of your righteous help,
    for those who tried to do me harm have been put to shame, and
    disgraced.

Marilyn Anderson writes from Short Hills NJ. Vernon resonates with Psalm 71


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