Nothing to show for my day

by Pat Holden

I have nothing to show for my day
Because I gave a blind man my fruit cup for breakfast buffet
(He could not see to get his own.
And had taken my seat when I left to serve myself)
But he held my hand to thank me
And shared the vision he had of his Alexina
Whom he had accompanied in her dying and flying into fiery light.

I haw nothing to show for my day
Because to a straggly haired woman
With rotting front teeth
I returned a smile
While she directed me to fabric dye remover.
None remained on that shelf,
So I left the store empty-handed.

I have nothing to show for my day
Because I gave away the promise of spring
(Five paperwhite bulbs in a green plastic pot)
To a friend who has no promise of winter;
We sat in the still darkness as pain engulfed her,
And I rubbed her back, coaxing silent prayers
Into her jerky breathing.
Her unmet grandson is not even a day old,
And she rejoices in the two already known and sampled.

She falls to sleep and awakens to add:
"You know I'll never go back to school again."
We talk about "winding down" and "quality of life"
In snatches of holy moments that erupt
From the dazed deep pockets of a well spent life.
he can say now "the last period of my life..."
And this has taken five years to pronounce,
But spill more from the hollows of her eyes.
I gave away calm presence
To my friend who could not longer wring hope
From the coiled tubes and drips and wheezing pumps.
"You know, I am getting weaker now," she sighs,
But we know we are getting stronger.

I gave away another smile
To the hamburger lady at the drive through window
"You are so cheerful," I grinned at her
"How could I not be?' she laughed.
"The Lord has given me another day to wake up in,
So I just gotta share my joy."
I drove away with that new song of hers,
Worth more than less change and a greasy bagged hamburger.

I have nothing to show for my day
Except for time spent lavishly
From my soul into others' souls
(I accomplished exactly nothing)
Instead, together we celebrated the ordinary
Firmly planted in holy mattering
Allowed to flow at its own speed,
To find its own way,
Seeping between the cracks.
(I bought two flats of blue faced pansies on the way home,
But will have to rest before I plant them.)