Being Real.

"What is Real?" asked the Rabbit one day........

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a very long time.....really loves you, then you become real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse....."When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once?".........

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time."

excerpted from THE VELVETEEN RABBIT by Margery Williams

Why is it that the very natural state of being real gets lost along the way to adulthood and has to be learned and relearned again and again? Are there ways we could help our children to hold on to their "realness"? Are there ways adults can recapture "real" against the overwhelming pressures to conform and perform?

The books I've chosen for this issue represent many different aspects of becoming or holding on to our "realness." They are meant as encouragement, to suggest aspects we might explore further, knowing that becoming "real" takes a long time. But like children who indefatigably find hope everywhere, we too can find hope even in the becoming.

SPIRITUAL INTELLIGENCE: WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THE EARLY AWAKENING CHILD by Marsha Sinitar. Orbis Books, 2000. 160 pages, hardcover, $16.00.

Intuition, creativity, a firm moral compass, inner authority and wisdom .... these are the "supernatural" qualities children possess, Marsha Sinitar tells us and offers us some stories about children who display these attributes. This "spiritual intelligence" animates and encourages children to seek out and cultivate their own special gifts. Youngsters can show us a way to our spiritual truths, a pattern of behavior that can incite our growth.

THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD: A STORYTELLER'S APPROACH TO THE SPIRITUAL JOURNEY by William J. Bausch. Twenty-Third Publications, 1999. 320 pages, paper, $14.95.

Another reviewer wrote of this book: "Take the time to open any one [of these stories] and you'll find your own story; dare to open your own story and you're sure to find the real you; risk opening yourself and wonder of wonders you find the presence of God." An impressive recommendation for a book. William Bausch has a reputation for keen storytelling.....a number of previous books using story as a powerful tool for revealing deep truths. This book is especially geared to enriching our spiritual journey, it even has thoughtful questions at the end of each chapter to keep us going and open us to more revelations about ourselves. The stories are funny, endearing, poignant and accessible.

THE OVERLOAD SYNDROME: LEARNING TO LIVE WITHIN YOUR LIMITS by Richard A. Swenson, MD NavPress, 1998. 216 pages, hardcover $12.00.

I've been saving this book since it deals with a problem that is profoundly affecting our children. The book deals with ten areas that commonly get us to the level of stress. Competently and practically, Dr. Swenson tackles each area with a series of "RX's" , the last of which, in each case, is the succinct reminder that we do not attempt all this alone; God is always there.

NATURAL PRAYERS by Chet Raymo. Hungry Mind Press, 1999. 210 pages, hardcover, $22.00.

THE SACRED EARTH: WRITERS ON NATURE AND SPIRIT edited by Jason Gardner. New World Library, 1998. 208 pages, paper, $12.95.

These two books each are a reminder of how important--and how sacred--is our responsibility to our children concerning this earth, "our island home." THE SACRED EARTH is a wonderful collection of writings from people who have made the connection between ecology (for want of a better word) and our individual spiritual journeys. NATURAL PRAYERS, from a physicist and astronomer, explores the mysteries of this "wheeling universe" and our various religious heritages. Both sing with a joy and awe of the gift we have been given.

SHARING WISDOM: THE PRACTICAL ART OF GIVING AND RECEIVING MENTORING by Robert J. Winks. Crossroads Publishing, 2000. 140 pages, paper, $14.95.

Have you often longed for someone just to talk with on a deep level--not a professional from whom you seek answers? Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to cry with, worry with, rejoice with especially as we struggle to be responsible parents in this fragmented, challenging society? Has someone asked this of you and you did not know how to respond? Robert Winks was a psychologist in private practice when he decided to offer pro bono mentoring instead. Listening to others stories and hearing people discover their own answers prompted this book. It's filled with simple, funny, profound stories, each followed by a pithy little "mentoring lesson" to carry into our own mentoring experiences, either as a "receiver" or a "giver."

TAKE BACK YOUR KIDS: CONFIDENT PARENTING IN TURBULENT TIMES by William J. Doherty, Ph.D. Soren Books, 2000. 160 pages, paper, $12.00.

Despite the fact that this may be the most child-sensitive generation of parents, Dr. Doherty suggests it is also the most confused and insecure. Yet, he believes, it is possible to honor a child's developmental needs and still keep the high expectations for raising children who are responsible and caring. This is no idealistic prescription book. It includes such knotty problem areas as single parenting, step-families, media influence and peer pressure. Help at last!

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No Guest Reviewers this time! We're still looking for reviews from our readers. Please try to suggest titles that are relatively new, and include all the publication information. For a list of the focus for each issue, as well as dates for submission, check out the 2000 Theme Guide.