Mobilizing the Caring Forces

A couple and their children headed for the grandparents' home. The parents had a little spat on the way over a trivial matter. They arrived at the grandparents' house feeling quite chilly towards each other. The family went into the living room, and the parents sat on opposite ends of the couch, giving each other a cold shoulder. Instead of sitting between their distanced parents on the couch, one child sat on one arm of the couch and the other two crowded onto the other arm. They slowly nudged their parents toward the middle. After fifteen minutes of this quiet, determined squeeze play, their mom and dad were so dose to each other they were touching. As they touched, the ice began to melt.

All this took place while the family talked with each other. The parents were unaware of their children's conspiracy until they got back home and compared notes about why their kids kept pushing them when they were on the couch. Both thought at first the children were just being ornery or playful, but as they reconstructed the scene, the kids' purpose became clear: they wanted to get their parents together, and they used a simple, straight-forward method --- pushing --- to accomplish their goal. Children's biggest fear is that they will be abandoned by one or both parents, so they take even little spats of parents seriously.

Excerpt from Heading for Home, Paul Welter's new book. While designed for truck drivers and their families, the lessons and stories are beneficial to all families. Heading for Home is available from F@W for $13.

Paul Welter has recareered after a long tenure at the University of Nebraska at Kearney. He still teaches "Learning from Children" there and leads seminars. Paul's radio show airs especially for farmers and truckers on several midwest stations. He also consults with businesses and organizations in the area of work-weariness.

Paul's other book, Learning from Children is also available from FAW.