Clergy and Laity in Conversation

A few weeks ago 23 clergy and lay people gathered from 8 churches for a FAW Mutual Ministry Project retreat. The MMP is helping uncover ways that the church can more effectively equip people to live their call in the world. (See below for information on the MMP). One exercise in the weekend was to break into two separate groups, one of the clergy, the other of the laypeople. Each group was asked to respond to the question, 'What do I need from you to be in ministry in the world.?' The working assumption on this retreat was that, as one participant put it, 'I am called to be in ministry where ever I am.' It was not an assumption that all clergy and all laity would answer that question in the same way. We came back together at the end of the evening to share our responses with each other and hear what the other group had to say. What follows is a slightly edited transcript of what clergy and laity said to each other.

We share these responses with you in the hopes that it might be a helpful conversation starter in your church between pastor and parishoners.

'What I need from you to be in ministry is.......'

Layperson: I need acknowledgment and encouragement from you for my work in the world.

Clergy: I want to be invited to people's workplaces. I want you to let me in to that part of your life.

Lay: I need help in discerning my gifts and my call. You don't necessarily have to do it, but I need my church to help me do that. It needs to be a priority. .I also want my pastor to be serious about questions of discernment for their own life and faith.

Clergy: I want you to work with me on a job description that builds on my strengths and gifts, rather than some abstract and traditional notion of 'what the pastor always does'. Basically I have the same wish for me as I do for you: That we would find ways to be in the world that pay attention to our particular gifts and call.

Lay: I need help in taking what is happening in the world, and making he connections to my faith.

Clergy: I want you to have the courage to engage scripture without me. I don't want to be the 'Bible Answer Man'. I want you to take responsibility for your own spiritual life. I want to help, but I can't do it for you.

Lay: I need help with setting limits as far as my church involvement goes. Sometimes it isn't right or healthy for me to take on some new to keep the church going. Encourage me not to take church assignments just to fill the chair, or if it isn't the right time for me to do it.

Clergy: I want you to be committed and consistently present to the community. Make your church community a priority......But I also need help in setting limits. If you see me trying to overfunction, hold me accountable.

Lay: Help us create the kind of environment where support comes from everyone in the church, not just the pastor. (But some of us want you to be there in the critical moments, like when we are.heading into surgery or getting bad news)

Lay: I want you to be real, but I also want you to be someone who can point me toward the 'higher truths'.

Clergy: I want you to know that we are fundamentally alike. I also struggle with questions of right and wrong. Don't put me on a pedestal or in a box.

Lay: I want the freedom to be able to talk to you if we disagree. I want your respect even if we don't agree.

Clergy: I want you to be willing to come to the table when there is a a conflict. Don't do all the processing out in the parking lot; come to the table.

Lay: I want you to respect all of us equally. Don't just pick people who have 'prestigious' jobs to hold the high profile roles in the church.

Clergy: I want you to be willing to lead. This is not my church, it is our church.

Lay: I want you to participate in moments of joy and delight.

Clergy: Me too!

The Mutual Ministry Project is a three year research effort to help the church support people for their ministry in daily life. It is called the Mutual Ministry Project out of the conviction that both pastors and laypeople are called to ministry, and that they need each other for support in the living out of our daily calls. The MMP is being led by Doug Wysockey-Johnson and Dick Broholm