Who are You?

"You need therapy!"

My daughter uttered those words to me just shy of her ninth birthday. Her observation came on the heels of disciplinary action. The rules in our home were simple: "Do not leave your toys in the family room or living room. If you do, you will be warned once. If you leave the same toy in the family room or living room a second time, we will take it away from you for a week. If it happens a third time, we will throw away the toy."

My daughter discovered that I had just tossed one of her favorite toys. She looked at me with shock and obvious displeasure. Her subsequent "You need therapy!" remark caught me by surprise. So much so I burst out laughing and fished her toy out of the trash.

She did, however, hit the nail on the head. I do need therapy. I am overly concerned about clutter. I want things tidy. I despise messes. I even straighten up the house before our cleaning lady comes.

There's more. I usually expect the worst. When a problem arises, I go into "the sky is falling" mode. Take yesterday. I went online and saw that our health insurance company had rejected a medical claim because the hospital did not file the claim in a timely manner. I immediately thought, "Oh no. We are going to have to pay the entire bill by ourselves," instead of, "I'm sure this is a problem that can be resolved with a simple phone call to the hospital." Sure enough, my wife called the hospital and all is well. One might think I would learn that the sky seldom falls, but I haven't.

That's not all. I border on panic if I am running late. I see promptness as a sign of respect and tardiness as a slap in the face. As a result, I usually arrive well before the appointed hour. I do not want anyone to feel like they were not important enough for me to arrive at the appointed hour. Unfortunately, I drive the people around me nuts with my "need" to be on time.

I could go on. Suffice it to say, I need therapy.

Needed Words

I also need to hear, and integrate, the words of Jesus into my soul … "I no longer call you my servant, I call you my friend" (John 15:15). I need to hear those words because sometimes I wonder, "Given all that's wrong with me, why would anyone want to be my friend? If people knew me, really knew me, they would not want much to do with me." Yet, Jesus knows me. Jesus really knows me, and he still wants to be my friend. I do not need to be perfect or have it all together to be loved by him. He just loves me, warts and all.

Brent Curtis and John Eldredge teamed together in the writing of the book The Sacred Romance. In a chapter titled "The Beloved," they penned these words:

In Ephesians, Paul lets us in on a little secret. We've been more than noticed. God has pursued us from farther than space and longer ago than time … God has had us in mind since before the Foundations of the World. God loved us before the beginning of time.

Curtis and Eldredge conclude the chapter by asking, "Who am I, really?" The answer to that question is found in the answer to another: What is God's heart toward me, or, how do I affect God? If God is the Pursuer, the Ageless Romancer, the Lover, then there has to be a Beloved, one who is the Pursued. This is our role in the story" (p 97-98).

Relational Images

The Bible uses all sorts of images to portray our relationship with God. Potter and clay. Shepherd and sheep. Master and servant. Being a lump of clay or a mindless sheep or a lowly servant is not the most complimentary of images, but there are other images as well, more intimate and affirming images like Father/Parent and child, friend, and of course, lover (bride and bridegroom).

Despite all that needs fixing in me, I need to remember my role in the story, our role in the story. I need to remember who I am, who we are. The Pursued. The Beloved. I am more than a compulsive, time-driven, pessimist. I am a friend of the Savior.

Actor Kirk Douglas picked up a young sailor who was hitchhiking one afternoon. The sailor jumped in the car, took one look at Douglas and exclaimed, "Hey! Do you know who you are?"

Douglas mused, "Now that's a very good question. It's a question we all have to ask ourselves."

Group Sharing Questions

1. Where could you use a little "therapy"?
   
2. Answer the question, "Who are you?" by jotting down five descriptive words, phrases or sentences. Share your responses with the group.

Dick Meyer is the Director of the One Anothering Institute in Omaha NE and author of three books, One Anothering, Vol 1, 2 &3.