"I
don't understand what you mean," I asked, "Who are 'trash people?'"
"I
don't understand what you mean," I asked, "Who are 'trash people?'"
The angry response came immediately. To this man, just about everyone except himself was a "trash person." One of his sons married a "trash person." What made her "trash" in this man's opinion was her skin color. "Trash people" included all the minimum wage employees who cared for his aging mother, along with gays and lesbians, and people of different ethnic backgrounds. It sounded as if the only non-trash person on the face of the earth was this angry, embittered man. My heart felt sick as I listened and felt deep grief for his children's spouses. This angry man felt none of them were good enough for his sons. His disapproval distanced them from his life.
"Do you have any pictures of your grandchildren?" I asked. He seemed surprised at this question and stopped his tirade for the moment. "No," he replied slowly, "I've never seen them. Their mother is 'trash.' Why would I want to spend time with her and her children?"
The Psalmist writes, "When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars that you have established; what are human beings that you are mindful of them, mortals that you care for them?" (Psalm 8:3-4). We are made in the divine image and are not trash. We are fearfully and wonderfully made in our human diversity. God is an artist, making human beings with many beautiful skin colors with the capacity to love deeply. God must be sorely grieved by our prejudices.
Madeleine L'Engle shares this insight about Jesus, the storyteller. Jesus tells the story of a person who had a huge plank of wood in his eye, yet did not hesitate a moment to severely criticize another for having a wee bit of dust in his eye (Matthew 7:1-5). The word Jesus used was "hypocrite." L'Engle writes, "The parable is ... a true story about our unwillingness to see our own enormous faults, and our eagerness to point out much smaller faults in other people." (Glimpses of Grace, L'Engle & Chase)
It is easy to see other people's prejudices and not our own. I wonder what people see in me? I wonder what hidden prejudices are deep within me? Where do I need to have a new heart to see people with God's eyes? Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855), a famous Danish theologian, clearly understood that while prayer did not change God's unchangeable character and attributes, it could transform the one praying with a new divinely inspired perspective.
Months after my first encounter with the man who thought of people as trash, I had the privilege of attending church with him again. He had experienced a dramatic moment with God and was truly reborn in his inner spirit. My mouth dropped to the floor as I saw him embracing people of color. I rejoiced at seeing him with his daughter-in-law. His grandchildren delighted in their new and wonderful relationship with their grandfather. His son was profoundly grateful to have a relationship with his father again. The son's mother joyously shared with me that she had been praying for her husband's attitudes for the past twenty-five years.
It was a moment of self-realization for me. Quite honestly, I had not been actively praying for this family. Fortunately God worked a miracle in spite of my prayerlessness. Truly, God can change the hardest of hearts. God is alive and well, still in the miracle business of transforming lives. Prayer changes things, beginning with the one who is praying. Perhaps all of us can learn from my experience. Are there people for whom you should and could be praying?
God, change the hardness of my own heart, before I so eagerly pray for others to have a change of heart. Help me see the planks of wood in my own eye, before the perceived dust in the eyes of others. Let any needed inner change begin with me. Amen.
Sandra is a writer, retreat leader, labyrinth facilitator, former nurse and Navy chaplain, and the founding pastor of SoulFoodMinistry.org. Sandra's book of devotionals is available from Chi Rho Press for $20.95.