Although many of us
yearn for a more centered life, we find it very difficult to get there. Why is
it so hard? A first step is to understand some of the trends in our society that
tend to pull our lives apart and leave us without a center.
Although many of us
yearn for a more centered life, we find it very difficult to get there. Why is
it so hard? A first step is to understand some of the trends in our society that
tend to pull our lives apart and leave us without a center.
Pace
The rapid pace of change. Daily life around 1800 was not much different from daily life in the time of Jesus. People traveled only as fast as a horse could run or a ship could sail. Messages traveled at the same speed. But beginning with the Industrial Revolution the lives of many people, at least in the industrialized nations, have experienced an increasingly rapid change of pace so that Alvin Toffler had to coin a new term, future shock, to describe this. Peter Vaill, professor of human systems at the University of St. Thomas, uses an image from canoeing to say that we are living in a “world of permanent white water.” (Peter Vaill, As a Way of Being, Jossey-Bass, 1996)
Closely related is the speeding up of the amount and the diversity of information that bombards us every day— through printed materials, radio and TV, computers, cell phones, and a host of new gadgets. To protect themselves from this information overload, people put up more “mental filters,” so that while it used to be that someone had to hear a message eight times for it to soak in, now it takes twenty-seven repetitions.
Mobility
Few of us live in one place for very long. We set down only shallow roots. Few of us work at one job for thirty or forty years. We no longer can trust corporations to provide us with a secure future. We no longer are surrounded by supportive friends and relatives. Among other things, this deprives us of a sense of accountability.
When I was a teenager, I worked at Johnny’s Grocery Store in Rockford, Illinois, stocking shelves. I decided that I wasn’t making enough money to buy my favorite potato chips, and I discovered that I could tuck one of those bags of chips inside my jacket on the way out of the store. I grew so successful at this that I started to shoplift larger and larger bags. Then one day as I was leaving, Johnny stopped me, unzipped my jacket, and the potato chips dropped out.
Because this was still a town where people had relationships with store owners, including a charge account, within ten minutes my parents were at the store talking with Johnny. For the next three months I was stocking shelves at no cost to Johnny. My father said, “Remember that when you cheat your neighbor, the cost is high.”
In the search for the kind of community that used to exist more commonly, we are seeing a move from our big cities into smaller towns, where people can again know their neighbors and find security and support. There are also new suburban developments of “clustered housing” that seek to create the feeling of an old-fashioned neighborhood.
Specialization
As more and more low-skilled jobs are moved from the United States to Third World factories, the remaining jobs require highly skilled workers—specialists. Such specialization is necessary (I want my surgeon to be an expert at what he is doing), but it has a negative side. By giving myself over to a medical specialist, I may lose control and ownership of my own health care. Someone who performs only one specialized task in a project may lose the sense of the whole.
Diversity
Many of us grew up in towns or neighborhoods where everyone was basically like us. When I was a boy in Rockford, Illinois, there were basically two kinds of people— Swedes and Italians. The Swedes were Lutheran, and the Italians were Roman Catholic. And we thought that was diversity. Now even rural areas include people of diverse cultures and religions. Texas has now become the fourth state in which the “minorities” are a “majority,” in which Caucasians are outnumbered by all others. (The other three states are California, New Mexico, and Hawaii.)
Our cities and towns and townships are no longer predominantly Christian. In many areas fewer and fewer people identify themselves as Christians or churchgoers. In North America and Europe, Christian culture seems to be in a decline, while in the southern hemisphere Christian churches are growing dramatically. We’re living in a land with many cultures and religions—or with no religious background at all. Even within Christianity we tend to be divided or even polarized into factions.
Compartmentalization
Each of us lives in multiple communities, anywhere from four to seven. We may have one community that is our family, another our congregation, another our work, another our political party, still another a hobby or special interest group. Each of these communities has differing expectations and demands upon us. In each one we are known only in part. People yearn to bring their many selves together into one place where they can be whole and where they are known well.
Unrealistic expectations
We are driven by the message, “You can have it all if you just achieve the right balance.” And so we run frantically from place to place, trying to have career, family, a rich social life, a gorgeous body, an influence in the community, a spiritual life.
Driven in part by the proliferation of i-media, many of us find it easier and more convenient to interact with the world through electronic devices. Instead of joining other people in a movie theater, we watch a video or DVD in the privacy of our homes. We order our clothes online, perhaps even our groceries. Some “go to church” via radio, TV, or iPod. Instead of talking with a friend or colleague, we send an email message. Some teenagers are reported to spend four hours a day exchanging text messages. Even within our homes we isolate ourselves from family members around our own TVs, our own computers, our own telephones.
These tools are by no means all bad. They offer us opportunities to keep in touch with people we might not communicate with otherwise. They offer us convenience and privacy, but they also result in a loss of community, of face-to-face contact with real people. For this reason some critics have strongly urged us to limit our use of these electronic media. One has called for a media sabbath, taking one day of the week without these electronic gadgets. When asked how we can find or create community, Minnesota writer Bill Holm, said, “Turn off the television and get to know your neighbors!”
Climate of fear
Bombarded with messages about terrorism, violence, crime, and financial crisis, we live in a culture of fear, described well by Lutheran Bishop Mark Hanson:
Far too often, when fear becomes our orientation to the world, we either withdraw into isolation or resort to acts of aggression. Fear hardens lives and closes borders. Fear prevents us from being open to the radical newness of God’s promises that call us to a life of faith. (Mark Hanson, Faithful and Courageous, Augsburg Fortress, 2005)
The Myth of the Balanced Life
Some social commentators have suggested that the answer to the divided life is a balanced life. Although they have some valuable things to say, I find that the balanced life is finally a myth; it can’t be done. In a balanced life, I try to stay in control of my life and try to find ways to balance the various facets of my life: work, family, personal care, friendships, community life, and political involvement. The problem with this is that it keeps us self-absorbed, and the elements of our lives rarely stay in balance. Think of what happens, for example, when you have a sick child. Your goal then is not to maintain a balance, but to take immediate care of that child.
The alternative to a balanced life is a faithful life. It is a life faithful, moment by moment, to the God in whom we live and move and have our being. It is a centered life. The perfect example of the faithful life is Jesus Christ. Jesus often worked long hours despite the objections of his disciples, and at other times he withdrew from people and tended to his own needs for rest, reflection, and prayer.
Personal Exercise: How Centered Are You?
Take a few moments to reflect on your own life. To what extent is each of these statements true about you?
Four Dimensions of a Centered
Life
Early Christianity was called the Way. The centered life is also a way, not a one-time, one-size-fits-all conversion, but an ongoing process. I begin, I fall back, I gain greater clarity. I keep coming back to the process.
I understand the centered life for each one of us as a life of belonging, identity, and meaning centered in Christ that is:
• Awakened to God’s presence in our life
• Called to live our faith in every situation
• Set free to contribute our unique gifts to God’s work in the world
• Nurtured and supported by a community of faith.
It is important to understand that these four dimensions of a centered life do not happen in a strict time sequence. We do not first get awakened and then move on to being called, and so on. The dimensions are all interrelated, and we keep cycling through them according to our unique patterns of growth.
Questions for Reflection and Discussion
1. Of the reasons for our divided life, how does each one affect you?
Rapid pace of change
Mobility
Specialization
Diversity
Compartmentalization
Unrealistic Expectations
Isolation
Climate of fearWhat other causes of uncentered life have you identified?
2. In what ways does your congregation help you lead a centered life? Are there any ways it contributes to the fragmentation of your life?
3. What feels like the center of your life? How would your life be different if you more clearly had God as the center of your life?
Excerpted with permission from The Centered Life (Augsburg Fortress Press 2006).
Jack Fortin is the Executive Director of The Center for Lifelong Learning at Luther Seminary, St. Paul MN. He has previously served as Senior Vice President for World Vision USA and Divisional Vice President for Young Life.