Making of the Mask

by  Jenn Julich

Getting ready…
Washing off the makeup,
Applying cream,
so plaster won’t stick to my face,
 it will come off clean.

A little uncomfortable
A cast of my face
cold, wet, and yet, I
asked God for grace.

With my face fully covered.
I could not talk!
I could not see.
I was masked,
I was not me.
My face
white, silent, and still
Underneath…dark, restlessness
seeking His will

Who am I?
Can anyone see?
I just disappeared Am I me?

Waiting for just the right time to emerge.
Like a butterfly coming out of it’s cocoon.
Twitching, squeezing, stretching my face,
I will be out of the mask soon.

Suddenly there is light
I am breaking free
I can talk! I can see.

The mask of my face
looks back at me

Unmasked, recognizable again,
I am me!

In April of 2004 the women on the Nebraska F@W team put together an event about masks, how we use them in society, and the reasons we put them on. There are many reasons and many different masks. There are our work, play, Mom/Dad, sister/brother and so on “masks.” There are others too and sometimes we don’t realize we are putting them on, or taking them off.

At the event we made masks of our faces out of plaster. Then after they dried, we decorated them. It was interesting going through the process. We were in pairs as we created the masks. (We used “rigid wrap” similar to a plaster cast for broken bones.) When it was my turn to have the plaster put on my face, it was OK until the plaster set. Then I couldn’t talk! For me, being an extrovert, that was the hardest part. I resigned myself to being quiet. It was interesting, listening to what was happening around me. Hearing all the different conversations and what the women were talking about. Also it quieted my being; just having my face completely covered (except my nostrils to breath) with no site made me go inside.

I had a similar experience at the F@W Convocation (May 05). We had a silent lunch. Again I had to be quiet. There was quite a bit of difference here however, I could see. (And communicate with faces & gestures.) Maybe God is telling me something….Listen! Then I read the card that the prayer team just sent. “How silently, how silently, the wondrous gift is giv’n.”

As I enter the part of my life when my children are starting to leave the nest, plus living out in the sticks, (on acreage north of Council Bluffs, IA, across the river from Omaha) it gets pretty quiet around here. As an extrovert I am learning God’s gift of silence. What a blessing!

Jenn Julich is a member of the Nebraska/Iowa FAW team. She lives in Honey Creek, IA with her husband and two boys and works in the pediatric intensive care unit at Children’s Hospital in Omaha, NE.