Being Together

As a pastor, I’ve noticed that people who are dying often have the most to teach use about our call to serve. That seems ironic since by the time we settle onto our death beds, there isn’t much that we are capable of doing for others. We don’t have the strength or the stamina to be very active; and yet some of the most caring, compassionate and generous acts I have witnessed occur in the closing moments of people’s lives.

At its heart, the call to serve isn’t about doing; it is about being. It is only when we stop our frantic activity long enough to remember that we are God’s beloved that we realize that our deepest joy comes in sharing God’s love with others through acts of kindness, compassion, generosity, mercy and grace.

Recently I spent time with a woman in her early 60’s who was dying of cancer. The time between her diagnosis and her death was just a few months, but she lived more in her last few months than most people do in a lifetime. Maybe it was because her time was so short that she had such clarity about the things that really mattered. She didn’t go anywhere exotic or do anything extravagant, but she made a profound impact on her family by the way she lived out her call to serve.

When test results revealed that the final course of treatment had proven ineffective and the span of her remaining life was weeks, not months, she realized that time was the most precious gift that she had to share with others. From that moment on, she very intentionally arranged to spend time along with each of the people she loved the most; her husband, her daughters, and her grandchildren. One at a time she sat with them reminiscing about the experiences they had shared and recalling the joys and the sorrows of their life together. She affirmed her deep love for each of them, asked for and offered forgiveness for the injuries they had caused each other, and expressed her hopes for the lives they would go on to live without her. When the family gathered to celebrate her memorial service, there were a lot of tears shed; but the tears were accompanied by deep feelings of gratitude, appreciation and joy.

Many of us get so busy with our daily activities that we forfeit the opportunities we have to be with the people we love. We get so frantic doing things for others that we don’t ever take the time to be with them. But our call to serve is not about doing; it is about being. Acts of kindness, compassion and justice all begin with the gift of companionship. And companionship requires a commitment to be together.

Intimacy

One of the most intimate moments recorded in scripture is the story of the last supper. In John’s gospel, all of chapters 13 through 17 are devoted to the time that Jesus shared with his disciples on their last night together.

Jesus didn’t give any detailed instructions of what he wanted his disciples to do to live out their call to serve. Instead, he reminded them of his abiding love, washed their feet, prayed for their welfare and promised to prepare a place for them in his father’s house. They didn’t do much of anything on their last night together, but being together enabled them to experience the depth of God’s love for them. And that experience inspired them to devote the rest of their lives to sharing God’s love with others.

Two thousand years later, Christians still gather around the Lord’s Table and remember that moment as we break bread and pour the cup of blessing. It reminds us that our call to serve is rooted in our identity as God’s beloved.

Perhaps one day we will learn to live the way we die.

Conversation starters for small group discussion:

1. Read Chapters 13 through 17 of John’s gospel. As you reflect on the events on the last night that Jesus shared with his disciples, what are the most intimate moments that stand out to you? What impact do you think they had on the disciple’s call to serve?

2. What are some of the lessons you have learned about the call to serve from your own experiences with loved ones who have died? What do you need to do to incorporate them into your daily life?