What Happens in Meditation

by Jim Dickerson

Our goal in contemplative prayer and meditation is not primarily to have a great experience each time we meditate. There are certainly positive side effects that occur as a result, but that’s not the primary aim for the Christian. Rather, primarily, we are simply to “show up”, just as we are, and try to be as fully present as we can be in that moment. We are to “be” not “do.” We are to let “what is” be “what is” without trying to change it by force of will or becoming too mentally involved with whatever is going on in and around us at the time.

It’s like pressing the “hold” button on a phone and letting all the lights blink until we are ready to resume talking again. When we meditate, we simply notice what’s going on and become aware of it without mentally attaching ourselves to all the thoughts, noises, sounds, sensations, emotions etc. It’s like sitting on the river bank watching all the logs float by without our getting in the river, grabbing one of the logs and floating with it. Whenever we are aware that our minds have wandered afar, we gently and nonjudgmentally return to conscious awareness of our breath and our prayer word to re-center ourselves, souls and bodies in the moment and the One who is called “Immanuel,” God with us in the here and now.

Our experience in meditation will be different each time we do it because other than being present, calming and centering ourselves, we do not try to “accomplish anything” or “get anywhere” or “be in control.” Wonderful, terrible, boring, peaceful, relaxing, painful, frightening, boring, refreshing, sleepy, frustrating, illuminating etc. are but a few adjectives describing the varieties of experiences in Christian meditation.

Just Receive

The important thing in contemplative prayer is to develop consistency, cultivate a regular practice, and practice, practice, practice.

One needs to begin from where one is in terms of length of time etc. and slowly grow from that position suspending all judgement, comparisons and self condemnation. Otherwise one may get too frustrated and discouraged and give up. Contemplative prayer presents one with the opportunity to practice the Christian principles of justification by faith alone and enter more deeply into the experience of the gift of God’s unconditional love and forgiveness in Jesus.

The Kingdom of God begins in us as a small seed that grows into a big, beautiful tree over a long period of time with careful cultivation. The same holds true with the cultivation of contemplation in our lives. We must eat the apple of Christian contemplation and meditation one small bite at a time. Repeatedly chewing that bite slowly, consciously, lovingly and non-judgmentally. Savoring and tasting each bite to the full until we are ready to take the next bite, and the next, and the next, one bite at a time.

In contemplative prayer, we open ourselves to have something “done to us,” rather than striving to produce some kind of spiritual experience. This is hard because it flies in the face of our conditioning. In contemplative prayer, God does a work in us without our knowing altogether what’s going on. Then one day, in some circumstance, we will realize that something is there that we hadn’t been aware of before.

Nothing is Wasted

One of my favorite sayings attributed to Julian of Norwich, a great Christian mystic, is “nothing is wasted, nothing is wasted.” I assume this applies to uncomfortable, unpleasant 20-minute sessions of Christian meditation and Body prayer as well.

If we were going to try and teach a fish that it is swimming in water, how would we do it? We would take the fish out of water for a brief moment and then put it back in the water. Perhaps then the fish would know it is swimming in water. While we shouldn’t be overly focused and concerned about how we feel in times of meditation, it might be a helpful exercise to notice how it feels to swim in the water of meditation. We just might find as much spiritual enrichment and growth there as we do in the so-called good and fun times. In the economy of God, nothing is ever wasted and in God’s reality there is no such thing as success or failure as we understand it, only faithfulness and unfaithfulness.

Two Warnings

Although we have tried to disconnect them, the body and mind are intricately interconnected and they have a direct affect on each other. Jesus said, “we are one.” St. Paul said “when one part of the body suffers all parts suffer, and when one part rejoices, all parts rejoice.” Now, centuries later, modern science is catching on and popularizing the body/mind connection that the ancients knew so well. This should not scare us away from the prayer of heart and body and the contemplative experience. When discomfort, even pain and distress occurs, we should simply be aware of it and not become surprised or overly concerned. This is one reason why it’s important to practice contemplative prayer in the context of a loving Christian community. It’s advisable to have support, accountability, and a safe place to share our experiences.

Don’t let the struggles detract you from cultivating contemplative prayer in your life and faith journey. Seek wise, professional assistance if necessary. Remember, difficult times are normal. All the mystics talk at great length about the hard, arid, dry times and their value/ purpose in prayer and our spiritual journey. The Bible is full of stories about these kinds of experiences among God’s people. Think of Jesus’ experience in the desert and the garden of Gethsemane.

Because God, life and people are dynamic, contemplative prayer is too. William McNamarra’s definition of contemplative prayer, “Taking a long loving look at the real” is my favorite. We are not talking about escaping reality, rather we are talking about exploring and discovering the “in-scape” of reality.

While it is true that life and God are dynamic, the practice of contemplative prayer also has the effect of centering us in a God who is described as a Rock to stand on, an anchor to ground and center us in the midst of all the changing and shifting in and around us. So, whenever meditating, we become aware that our mind has wandered off, we gently and lovingly bring our focus back to our prayer word to re-center ourselves in God-with-us.

Deeper Rhythm

One last warning: Christian contemplative prayer has the effect of connecting us to a deeper rhythm than the surface rhythm in life and popular culture/society. I’m referring of God’s rhythm in Jesus. The deeper rhythm in Jesus has the effect of taking us in the opposite direction than the surface direction in life. Christian contemplative prayer takes us in a counter-cultural direction and has radical political/social implications associated with it as well, especially in this age when so many kinds of highly individualistic, apolitical, feel good spiritual practices are being promoted.

The practice of Christian contemplative prayer ultimately takes us deeper into the encounter with our true selves, our common humanity with all others, all of creation – with God and God’s love in Jesus. The journey takes us into and through the full range of human experiences. The ultimate aim (if we must call it that) of Christian contemplation is oneness and love.....a deepening of the relationship of love and our experience of belovedness in God. As Tom Ryan says, “we are made for union and communion.” This is why we pray and practice the prayer of heart and body. This is where it will take us if we let go, open up and, by faith give ourselves to the practice on a regular basis.

Jim Dickerson is the Executive Director of Manna, the largest non-profit housing rehabilitation program in Washington DC and he is also the pastor of The New Community Church there.