On a
hot, sunny day at Rehoboth Beach, Delaware around 4 p.m. as we were resting on
the beach, my 24 year old son said to me “I’m going down to take a little dip.”
I thought he was going down to get the sand washed off as we were getting ready
to leave for the drive back home.
But he evidently got caught in bad water and rip currents, and several people got caught in serious trouble in the water. Lifeguards rushed in to rescue some men further out, and our son disappeared and was not rescued. His body was discovered about an hour later. It was a terrible shock, and our lives changed forever. Losing a child has been called the “worst tragedy that can happen to anyone.”
Pain Shared
After Mike’s death, I was eager to join my sisters in early 1999 at the Wellspring Women’s Event, because that fall had been a very difficult time for my husband and me as we struggled with the reality of our loss. I was still fragile and suffering. The group took me in, comforted me, cried with me, and I lit a candle for Mike in the worship circle. I felt his spirit there amongst us.
Later that year I discovered a group called The Compassionate Friends. Finding this lay support group enabled me to work through my grief and loss in a supportive environment in those lonely months of loss when Mike’s absence from my life was overpowering. I began editing the group’s newsletter and continued to be an active member. In May of 2006 I was elected as co-leader of the Potomac, Maryland Chapter.
Sense of Call
Last year, our FAW retreat focused on the story of Lydia, a business woman who befriended Paul and Silas when they first came to Philippi. The Biblical passages from Lydia’s story in the book of Acts, and Paul’s joyous letter to the church that met in her house in the book of Philippians, helped me to see more clearly how God can use me in a call that came out of a personal tragedy.
Two days after the 2007 Women’s Retreat, I arrived at our monthly meeting of Compassionate Friends. There were many gas company vans all around the church where we meet, and TV crews with the tall broadcasting towers from the news vans. It was the coldest day of the year.
A massive gas problem had occurred and there was no heat in the church, the adjacent public school, or the 600 surrounding homes. Our folk began arriving for the meeting; and because there was no heat, we could not meet in the usual hall. The pastor kindly offered the use of two small office rooms which had heaters in them. We started our meeting, and more and more people arrived, and we had to move part of the group to the second room.
The rooms were comfortable, lined with bookcases and symbols of the faith. Our meeting is non sectarian, and a family of three arrived who had suffered the loss of a son in a single car crash weeks before; another woman came also with new grief, but trying hard to hold it back and listen.
The love in that small room was very evident; the stories that one member, who came especially because it was the anniversary of her murdered son’s birthday, touched the newcomers who were struggling with the enormity of their loss. The community and the Spirit were at work. The newcomers were learning that they were not alone in their grief, that thru sharing our stories together, they could see hope that they would get through this tough experience. I felt we were “strangely warmed” by God’s Spirit. The lessons learned through Faith@Work all came together as we ministered to each other on that cold wintry evening.
Susan L. Johnson has served as elder at Northwood Presbyterian Church in Silver Spring MD, is leader in a community crime prevention program in a low-income area of Montgomery County MD, and works for an estate planning attorney.