I have
decided to follow Jesus,
Though none go with me, still I will follow,
I have decided to follow Jesus,
Though none go with me, still I will follow,
I have decided to follow Jesus,
Though none go with me, still I will follow,
No turning back, no turning back.
No turning back, no turning back.
Lewiston, Maine might be the second largest city in Maine, but it is the first
in crime and has the highest rate of AIDS and drug use in the state. A collapsed
mill city, it is not what most people think of when they think of Maine. I once
heard someone call it the “arm-pit of Maine.”
Lewiston includes the lowest income census district in the state, and one of the lowest in the country. It’s the “B Street” neighborhood – about an eight square block area around the intersections of Birch, Beech and Bates streets. There you will find Somali refugees, Hispanic laborers, Asian immigrants, African Americans, and unemployed French Canadians, all living in four and five story wood-frame tenement buildings left over from when the mills were still in operation. Many of you likely know of similar neighborhoods.
My little church is in the “B Street” neighborhood – Trinity Episcopal Church – just across from the city park. (And by little, I mean if we are lucky, there are 30 people attending on a Sunday.) We host a “Jubilee Center” which is a drop in center for the people of the neighborhood. It is open every morning for about 4 hours, starting with coffee and doughnuts and ending with lunch at 11:30. There is a small food and clothes bank there too. Sometimes, at the end of the month we will have up to 60 people a day at the Jubilee Center.
Down the street is a place called “Wisdom’s Center,” run by the Daughters of Wisdom. It is a sanctuary place of hospitality for the women of the neighborhood. On any given day, Wisdom’s Center can have up to 35 women stop by for conversation, coffee or tea, and a game or activity sponsored by the Center.
Community
The people who are held at both those places, have formed a community of the disenfranchised – drug addicts, felons, prostitutes and strippers. Most have a history of severe abuse and trauma, many with diagnoses like PTSD, and bipolar disease. The ones I have come to know best at the Jubilee Center are Elijah, a ten month old baby, his brother Seth who is 2 years old, and their mom and dad – Dawn and Chris – both in their early twenties. Formerly homeless, they are struggling to keep their children and make a home.
A few of the people who come to the Jubilee Center, sometimes come to church on Sunday. Ed, a drug addict who also has some kind of psychological trouble, is most regularly with us. He has a Pentecostal background. If the preacher asks a rhetorical question, Ed answers it – astutely, but at great length. During the Prayers of the People, which we do gathered in a circle in the crossing of the church, Ed raises his hands and prays in tongues.
My Friends
When I returned to Maine, a little over a year ago, God plopped me right into that neighborhood. Over the winter, I was only minimally employed in the LL Bean Christmas hire, while taking a unit of CPE. With time on my hands, I began to volunteer at both the Jubilee Center and Wisdom’s Center.
When spring came, I still had no job. Increasingly worried about my own financial situation, my new friends at TJC and WC consoled me and gave me hope. And they prayed for me – more sure than was I that God would work things out. And a job did finally come along – at the end of March. I am now a “Certified Parent Educator” with an organization called “Advocates for Children.” At 51 years old, I am starting over with a new vocation as a caseworker, doing home visits with first time parents. And surprise, surprise… our offices are in the “B Street” neighborhood, with about half of my client load, living there.
Eyes Opened
Because of limited or no employment this winter, I had a taste of what it is like to live vulnerably on the edge – pinching pennies, asking for a payment plan for a doctor bill, applying for heat assistance, taking bread from the food bank, and keeping my heat at 55 to save on oil… Yet, even with my limited income and now an empty savings account, I am relatively privileged and prosperous. And I have a safety net – a good education, family and friends, a house just a couple miles away from “B Street” and a family cottage on a lake nearby.
So here is the rub… My eyes and heart have been opened to poverty that I never knew existed. I now have friends with names, who live on a finer edge than I can ever even imagine, everyday, with no safety net – and that knowledge changes my picture dramatically.
What then do I do with Jesus, who says, “I come not for the
righteous, but the sinner…Follow me!"
Follow where? There!
How? Jesus’ words make me feel uncomfortable and confused. Given what I experienced this year, how do I continue to live my comfortable life with integrity, without trivializing that radical Gospel call to be with the poor? Given my life, how can I be with the poor with any integrity? Surely we are not all called to live like St. Francis. What kind of world would it be if we were all broken and disenfranchised? Surely that is not what is meant.
In Our Neighborhood
There are no easy answers. Knowing where and how to follow Jesus is not always as clear. At least it isn’t for me. Perhaps, the best we can do is live in the tension – Humbly sit at the table of discomfort and blessing with Jesus. Just BE there and listen and WAIT and continue to wonder “Who am I to be, and what am I to do in this place, at this time?”
The prayer we sometimes use at the Jubilee Center during grace before lunch says simply: “God is great. God is good. God is in our neighborhood.” The prayer proclaims the good news that our gracious God is in the struggle and in the relationships. Follow me there, says Jesus, as you are, with an open heart. It is enough.
Klara Tammany is a religious educator, spiritual director and biblical storyteller who lives in Monmouth, Maine. She is the author of the book, Living Water: Baptism as a Way of Life (Church Publishing, 2002).