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The Realm of Right Relationships

by Marjory Bankson


Many people separate their relationship with God (in church on Sunday) from life in the "real world" (at home and work). We believe in Jesus Christ but do not know how to be contemporary apostles; long for community but do not know how to create it; are conscious of ourselves but feel disconnected. The answer is we must help one another. We must practice loving one another in our daily lives. That is the credo of FAITH AT WORK-to grow in four basic relationships: with God, self, others and the world.

To create a FAITH AT WORK event, whether for an evening open house or a weekend church retreat, begin with the "realm of right relationships" as a skeleton. Although people may come from different faith traditions or none at all, we assume that everyone has some desire to know God. That is enough to begin the journey together.

GOD. First, relating to God takes many forms, from a simple recognition that a Higher Power moves through creation toward wholeness to a conscious theology involving Christ, the biblical tradition, church doctrine and Christian community. As an ecumenical ministry, FAW claims Christ as the source of healing and new life, but we avoid doctrinal disputes and emphasize a growing relationship with Christ to bridge traditional differences. We recognize that whatever we regard as sacred will shape action, decisions, hopes and beliefs. FAW provides a safe place to explore past images of God and build a functional relationship with God in the present. Questions to evoke this pervasive relationship might include:

SELF. Second, relationship with Self is a way to get acquainted, share history and begin the inward journey of self-discovery. We all have past experiences, good and bad, and have survived them to be here now. We can share the present, what makes life precious and what is asking for change. And everyone has hopes and dreams for the future. The order-past, present and future-is important.

Affirmation of our basic worth frees us to be open, vulnerable and affirming of others. We can acknowledge power and release the trappings of prestige to meet each other "on the patio" of our common humanity. We can also face the temptation to feel uniquely burdened by past wounds and give up the specialness of being a victim to be the self God intended from the beginning, to see ourselves as gift and blessing. Some questions which will begin the process of self-disclosure are:

OTHERS. Third, our relationship with others begins with the desire to have a place, to belong. Jesus and his disciples were a small group, a chosen family. "Love one another as I have loved you," Jesus said, giving a charge that is central to living a Christian life. The purpose is not efficiency or good organization or even healing, it's learning to be a "body" together, to love one-another.

Common fears that keep us from deeper relationship with others include fear of intimacy, ignorance, exploitation and judgment. Watching others choose transparency and vulnerability can help us grow in our ability to trust, to forgive and to live freely with others. Over time, we can begin to name our sins and experience the grace of acceptance. Questions which will help build relationship with others include:

WORLD. Fourth, relating to the world begins with the outward journey of work, call and purpose. It's the realm of the "church scattered" in structures we didn't invent and don't control. Questions of commitment and conflict naturally arise here. A common goal for Christians would be justice and mercy for the widows and orphans, the marginal and outcasts of our society. Questions to elicit this dimension of life would be: