This is no place to raise a family, thought my father, soon after the
turn of the century. This was in Hungary when I was born. My father was
a cabinet maker, and a pacifist. In 1910 under the Austro-Hungarian empire,
he refused to bear arms and was imprisoned for one year for his faith.
The warden used my father's skills as a cabinet maker and had him build furniture for his home. He then got my father a pardon using my grandfather's blindness as a basis for the pardon.
But it would have been a difficult time and place to raise a family so, when my father was released, he came to America. I was very young when we came to the United States.
When I was 22 or 23, I made a decision to live as a Christian. In knew I'd need guidance and direction for the journey. I heard about the Oxford Group Movement and went to see what it was about. I first time I went to Calvary House in New York City I met Royal Merritt who witnessed about his changed life as a Christian. It made sense to me. I told him, "I liked what you had to say. How do I get that way?"
He took me to a nearby lounge and we talked. I told him of my experience with a fundamental religious group that seemed to have more discipline than joy. I thought of the Christian experience as a quest and that guidance would be needed. He talked of four important things: honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. "These four absolutes," he said, "would be guides by which we could see and measure ourselves." I confessed to him of my failures in each of these areas and asked, "Now what?"
"Now that we have torn down the old structures, we have a quiet time and seek God's guidance about how we build a new structure," Merritt counseled. "Are you changed?" was the question asked regularly, not "Are you saved?"
We began meeting regularly at Calvary House for quiet time and guidance. Afterwards you shared what came to you. I had not had quiet times before. But two thoughts came to me very clearly: "make restitution" and "marry Hilda." The second was a puzzle. I hadn't dated. It was during the Depression when times were difficult and I wasn't thinking of dating or marriage. But I wrote those two words "marry Hilda" in my guidance notebook. And then I began to look at Hilda in a new way.
I lived in Englewood NJ and Hilda lived in Forest Hills NY, rather far apart and awkward to get to. We began to meet at Penn Station at 34th St NY.
Some months later we were walking and Hilda said, "I have something to share with you." I asked, "Is it about us?" "Yes," she said. I said, "Let me show you what I wrote in my notebook three months ago." We stopped walking and I showed her those two words, "marry Hilda," written in my hand. "Is this what you had to say?" It was. The same direction had come to her. Now what? "I guess this means we're engaged," I told her. We were married three months later.
We set off on our faith journey together, using the same four absolutes-honesty, purity, unselfishness and love-as a guide. We had 58 wonderful years, and we laughed and wept together, in sorrow and joy. We became more together than we were separately. It's like being the pilot of a DC-3 flying on the beam. Signal beeps let you know when you get off course and how far off course so you can get straight again.
From the beginning, Faith at Work was an important part of our life together. Sam was the start of it all. It was contagious. It was helpful, one step at a time. It was a place to ask constantly, "Who are the God-bearers in your life?" I knew Sam Shoemaker and Bill W. (Alcoholics Anonymous) too. We all had problems, all of us, mostly job problems. John Ryder, an advertising man, helped everyone with jobs and getting resumes together. Lots of men were there: J.C. Penny, Bruce Larson, John and Alex Beck, Frank Laubach and Irving Harris. Women too. Prime movers. John Ryder told us, "There's nobody like you. You are unique. You have to market yourself, your product." That's why we called the group Faith At Work!
Faith at Work pioneered the small group movement. Over the years I've watched and experienced what can happen to people as they talk things out in these groups. Now, with all the twelve step groups, new groups are being formed everywhere. Look at what was started there in Gramercy Park!
What I've learned all these years is still holding solid. I find God works with me through concepts like "Find a need and fill it." In retirement I noticed there's such a treasure in people and nobody asks them to do anything with it. So I asked a professor friend to get me an introduction to the job placement department and I went to the University of Arizona with a proposal.
"Find me ten students with dreams for their future, and I'll find a mentor for each of them." In four years, 120 mentors have been matched with students at no cost to the University. It's been a great experience all the way 'round.
Recently I got an inspiration from this poem by Edwin Markham:
During one of my quiet times, I saw the pilings along the Hudson River. One piling was encrusted with barnacles, and I saw them being stripped away until the piling looked strong and new again. This seemed to symbolize what was happening to me.
Yes, creative ideas and Faith at Work groups and the four absolutes-honesty, purity, unselfishness and love-as guidance have held up for a good long lifetime. I know God has something for me to do wherever I go.
Nandor Kiss shared these thought with his small group and others at the 1996 July Faith At Work conference on Change in Santa Barbara CA. For many years he was a New York businessman, and is now retired in Arizona.
For another article by Nandor Kiss, check out Healing
of Memories Through Journaling.