Inspired by Gordon Cosby, its founder and pastor, it is Elizabeth O'Connor, known by her friends as "Betty 0'" who has made the story and lifestyle of the church known through her books, Call to Commitment, Journey Inward, Journey Outward, Eighth Day of Creation, and Search for Silence. (Elizabeth's books available from Faith At Work) We interviewed "Betty 0" recently to ask what nourishes her on her own spiritual journey.
FAITH/AT/WORK: You are known everywhere for the phrase, "Journey Inward, Journey Outward," the title of one of your books describing the lifestyle of The Church of The Saviour. Did you originate that phrase?
O'CONNOR: So far as I know. But that is what has been unique about our congregation -- our effort to hold both of these journeys (one's inner life and one's action in the world) in some kind of tension, both within people and within institutions. The two are seldom combined in one person or one institution, but we use it to define membership. We say this describes the church: people on two journeys, one inward and one outward. And what we find is that many people don't want both.
FAW: Does that exclude a lot of people, then, from really being in the church?
O'CONNOR: In our situation we provide a structure that allows people to be where they want to be. If they want a therapy type of situation, it's here for them. If they want a prayer group, that's here for them. If they want a task group, we have that. But when it comes to membership in the church, we say, "No, this means both."
FAW: Would you press this so far as to say that one is not a true Christian unless she/he's on both an inward and outward journey?
O'CONNOR: Not a mature Christian. What's involved in these dimensions is a growing up into the full stature of Christ. I'm inclined to believe that the great lack in the church today is that, though we preach grand sermons and give inspiring talks on what the church is, we don't provide structures that embody what we are talking
FAW: Are churches more deficient in one of these aspects than the other?
O'CONNOR: Churches are either heavily weighted on one side or the other. Many church people become social activists; then they burn out, the pendulum swings the other way and they become people of the inward journey.
FAW: Instead of pursuing both journeys at once?
O'CONNOR: Yes, but I'm not saying a person has to be at that place. I feel the God at the top and the God at the bottom are the same God and He is with us wherever we are.
FAW: Do you find yourself swinging from one to the other?
O'CONNOR: I'm trying to think if I'm presently weighted toward one more than the other and I don't think that's presently true of me. But I think it's because our structures are ones that provide the possibility for both. Our mission groups convene around an outward journey and yet to be a member one must be committed to an inward journey.
FAW: Are you more comfortable in one than the other?
O'CONNOR: I don't think so. But I have difficulty responding to your question because I seem to be justifying myself as a mature Christian when I don't really feel I am. I'm very much a pilgrim person on the way.
FAW: What nourishes your inward journey?
O'CONNOR: Different things at different times. Right now I'm working with the Book of Job. It has much to say to us about being priests to one another and I'm being nurtured by its instruction as well as by the pure beauty of it. It's a magnificent piece of writing.
FAW: How are you working with it?
O'CONNOR: Meditating on it. Just reading it. I'm reading a chapter a day. That's part of my current reading. But today, this morning I started with a communion service with members of my community.
FAW: What do you mean by "your community"?
O'CONNOR: Last year The Church of The Saviour broke into six sister congregations. Ours is called The Eighth Day Community, from a statement by Nicholi Berdyaev who said something to the effect that God made the world in seven days and whenever man creates, it is the eighth day. Creativity, to us, means creating our own lives and creating new structures. Our community was called into being by a group of nine of us who bought an apartment house. We are forming a new lifestyle together. There are others in the community now but those who live in the apartment house issued the call.
FAW: Is living together in the same building nourishing to you?
O'CONNOR: I find it the best of two worlds. It provides community when I want it and privacy when I want that. But I don't know that it is possible for many people.
FAW: Did it require a careful selection process to make sure you're congenial?
O'CONNOR: We didn't form on that basis. The apartment house was available and those who spoke up first formed the community. Our mission groups don't form on the basis of personal compatibility but on a sense of call to a task. What we have in common, though, is pretty important. We're all committed to Christ and we're willing to live by prayer and meditation. Without that I think it would be almost impossible to form a community that has any depth.
FAW: Do you learn from each other? Do you enjoy the diversity?
O'CONNOR: I do. I think it's hard until you work some things through together, but if you're willing to stick with it, it becomes a gift.
FAW: You spoke of living by prayer and meditation.
O'CONNOR: Yes. I think we have in our churches generally failed to be people who know the art of meditation.
FAW: Do you mean the popular process that wipes the mind clean of all rational thinking?
O'CONNOR: No, I'm thinking in terms of reflection. We need to reflect on our history, but we also need to reflect on our day. He who would change his life must begin with a single day and note what it has to teach him. We can be different for doing so.
FAW: What good way have you found to do this?
O'CONNOR: One way is journal writing. In our community we have become keepers of journals. A journal is a way of forced reflection, of getting in touch with feelings and responses that in the ordinary course of events you go right by.
FAW: Do you work with your dreams?
O'CONNOR: I am utterly devoted to working with one's dreams. When I remember a dream I work with it, either by myself or I will share it with someone. I "befriend" my dream, as Jung said; I carry it around with me and ask it to tell me its meaning.
FAW: Do you follow Freud or Jung or Perls in dream interpretation?
O'CONNOR: I'm very eclectic. I don't have to agree with everything a person says to learn from him. Right now I'm greatly stimulated by writings in the area of group work, because I'm working in group counseling.
FAW: How about literature and art?
O'CONNOR: Poetry and fiction have a lot to tell us about the human heart. If the artist is truly in touch with his own life he can put us in touch with ours. I recently read "God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater," by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., for example, and Domenick Consolo's "Rocking-Horse Winner." What propels me along the road to reading is that I've always been consumed with feelings and what happens to a person and his feelings. Most people, I think, are in trouble with their feelings, and to some extent that has to be, but to a larger extent we can become priests to one another.
FAW: Why are feelings so important?
O'CONNOR: Let me backtrack and say that Frederick von Hugel, the Christian mystic, said we have three centers -- historical, intellectual, and emotional -- and if we're to have a full spiritual diet we must feed each of these centers. I've given lots of attention to feelings because I think they're neglected by the church. Lots of people are suffering from repressed anger which manifests itself in psychosomatic illness or apathy or boredom or depression or anxiety.
FAW: What can churches do about it?
O'CONNOR: Churches can create a climate where people are free to experience their feelings.
FAW: Free to be angry in church?
O'CONNOR: Yes. The Scriptures don't say, "Don't be angry," but rather "Be angry, but don't let the sun go down on your anger." The Bible speaks of an angry God. Anger helps us put things right, not for ourselves but for others.
FAW: Do people express their true feelings in your mission groups?
O'CONNOR: We're beginning to. In the past couple of years we've been doing workshops on anger -- anger and self-esteem. They're closely related.
FAW: And is it anger that leads people into social action? Healthy anger?
O'CONNOR: It helps us know where God would have us work in the world when we get angry at injustice and oppression. But we need to deal with the anger in ourselves, not just act it out. Here's where the journey inward and the journey outward come together. Most people feel that mission is for the sake of others. I don't feel that. I think it's for our own sake also.
FAW: Isn't there danger of a narcissism, a preoccupation with oneself, in what you're suggesting?
O'CONNOR: I don't think so. The inward and the outward movements must not be separated. In our work we also work out our own lives. But if we use our work simply as a further quest for self, then we will lose it and go backward. But if churches can provide a place where people can be on an inward journey but also model the outward, people will naturally flow from the inward to the outward. I think they don't because we don't show them how.
Elizabeth O'Connor is a member of The Church of the Saviour in Washington,
D.C.,where she works as a counselor, writer and leader of small groups.
Last year The Church of the Saviour spawned six sister communities and
this article is taken from a letter she wrote to those communities.